Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Spring is time for change right?

Spring is a time for change, a time for rebirth, a time to reflect on what has passed and hope for what's to come. It is also the precise point I am in my life and I have no idea which road to take. You see, when my dad got sick in September my life was shaken to its core. Of course there's the whole part of dad being sick, but I had to make decisions and I had to make them fast.

It became evident quite quickly that I could not afford to fly home to Canada from Minnesota each time I wanted to be near my dad. So hubby and I decided simply to pick up and crash at his parents place in Pennsylvania,(did I mention it was a one bedroom apartment and we slept in the kitchen)? We literally grabbed the pets, some clothing, quit our jobs and drove East (it's an 8hr drive home to Canada from PA, instead of the 26hr drive from Minnesota). Hubby got a job a month later and well I went home to spend the remainder of time with my dad.

I am SO greatful to my hubby to have simply decided that family was more important and that we would just find a way. I am so very greatful to my in laws for being put out for the time we spent on their kitchen floor. I am so greatful to my sister and her hubby for taking care of my furbabies, along with their own two furbabies and their adoooorable furless 2 year old, all the while handling the same stress over losing our dad (Nonno, father in law). Every decision was fluid, there was no hesitation, no second guessing and no regrets. It just came together.

Now I am at a stand still. Everything that was certain is gone. As I sit here on a gorgeous spring weekday, typing away on my keypad I think to my hubby who is out working. The cold hand of guilt steadily taps my shoulder as I think back to the jobs I have held down and the qualifications I have. I am teetering and completely stumped at this fork in the road, no compass can tell me which path to take.
As I mentionned in a previous post I want to do what I am passionate about, not just what I have down on my resume. What is listed there I am proud of, I can type 60 wpm, I can handle multi-tasks, I can create and chair meetings, I can handle public speaking without breaking into a large, noticeable sweat (this is a fear I just recently conquered!). I can do such things, but do I want to?

There is a large part of me that feels as though if I don't make the drastic life changes that I have always held on the backburner, than I would not be honoring my dad. He passed away far to young, far to quickly and made us see that life is to short. Tomorrow is not promised so we must do what we want to do, today.

Yet do I even have this right to sit here and question this at all? In these economic times, where jobs in itself are scarce do I have the right to simply put everything on hold as I make my way through murky decisions? Hubby is supportive of me staying home to complete my online freelance writing course, he is supportive of me submitting columns or articles to magazines with no guarantee of a pay check. We are getting by, but there is no such thing as savings and my frugal mind stresses when there is no cash holed up in a sock somewhere! So I search the want ads with a heavy heart all the while wishing I could work freelance.

So I ask, are you doing what you love? Or are you simply "doing", to sustain a lifestyle that you want?

~ Marcia

Monday, March 30, 2009

There's a storm brewing

Hi All!

I hope you had a great weekend. Mine was fun. Friday we did our groceries then went to Cracker Barrel for supper with the in laws. I looooove Cracker Barrel. Hubby bought me two little gifts, I will show you them in another post. Then on Saturday we went to see "A haunting in Conneticut". It is based on the TV show "A Haunting" which I have seen but this one differs from the one on TV. Hmmm, anyway, it wasn't very scary which is good as I am easily afraid. ;) I love haunting shows but they scare me nonetheless.

Anywho, yesterday they were calling for rain so we decided to take the pooch out for a walk before the rain came. It was supposed to be a high of 58F, instead it went up to 71F! So we decided to take her to two different community parks. We feel bad for her when she always snifs the same scents on our walks so we like to shake it up a bit and she just gets sooooo excited when we go for walks on new trails.

This house was on the walking trail. Isn't it a gorgeous old house? Oh yah, sorry for the date stamp, I thought if I removed date stamp it wouldn't give me any but apparently it puts its own.

You can't really make out the top center window but it was all stained glass. And I just looove the wrap around porch and widows walk.

Isn't this a neat old tree?

From there we decided to brave the clouds and went on to another park. I love this park, so far it is my favorite. Cinnamon wasn't sure what to make of the ducks!

There were also geese in them there pond.

A view from the trail.

A day is not complete without a self portrait. ;) I am really not this pale, honest!

Btw, I did dye my hair this weekend. I bought Revlon ColorSilk at Walmart for $2.97! My MIL says she's even found them for 2/$3.00! I can even go a bit darker next time but at that price I don't mind experimenting.

Anywho, back to my story, we made it home just in time to avoid the hail that came crashing down! Thankfully no tornado as they predicted and I panicked. I get into full panic mode when there's a storm and it gets worse as I age. Hmmm, I'm not sure why?!

Hope your weekend was a good one!

~ Marcia

Friday, March 27, 2009

A hodge podge of hairy thoughts

Last night, I was mindlessly skimming through the channels and came across the TV show "Millionaire Matchmaker". I stopped to watch because I am currently in hair envy for two reasons, 1) since turning 35 a week ago (yikes)! those evil, rechent grey hairs that were laying dormant sprung awake! I used to have a couple around the temples which I would promptly pluck out (oh yes I did, and it felt wonderful!) but nothing like this! So tonight it's off to the pharmacy to get me some hair dye. I am just not emotionally prepared for greys, I'm just not.

Anywho, reason 2) would be because the hairstylist I went to see hacked off my hair! It was passed my shoulders and a little to long for my liking. I had asked that he cut it so it rest just a little passed my shoulders, just like in my profile picture. Well apparently he had other intentions. He hacked it off and thinned it out. What used to naturally curl if I let it air dry now hangs like a ill fitted birds nest. Had I been menstruating I would've cried. Instead I simply repeated "I hate it, I hate it, I hate it". Which to my mom's displeasure had become my new mantra for the rest of the week we spent together. Sometimes I think it's childish to worry of hair, when my dad fought so hard to just live, but then I remember I'm a mere mortal and childish worries are a part of life. So now I must wear it pulled into a pony tail or flat ironed straight with my bangs tied back as he didn't want to trim my bangs because he didn't like them. Did I mention I do not like this man?!?

Anywho, sorry for the long winded tantrum, back to my original thought. So here I am watching "Millionaire Matchmaker" only because I love the matchmakers hair. If you haven't seen it, it's long, and black and shiny. And she has fantastic bangs. But the love ends there. In last night's episode she had called in a group of women to see if they were qualified to meet her two millionaire men. Let me reiterate, SHE CALLED THEM. So she walks into the room and just belittles these poor, beautiful women. She tells one she needs a new makeover, another that her hair is fried, another that she's too short and needs to wear stilettos and finally tells another girl to get rid of the pouf in her hair and make herself out to look like Cameron Diaz as this millionaire apparently likes that. Then she waves off the stunned woman! I wanted to grab this matchmaker by the shoulders and yell, "just who do you think you are"?! It's one thing to say that they may not be physically matched to these millionaires but to berate them for being themselves?

Is it me or is our world becoming ruder and ruder? It's as though it's become accepted to hurt someones feelings. To belittle them for who they are or what they wear or how badly they sing (American Idol). Although I do admit some people aren't cut out to sing but a simple no thank you, would be fine instead of berating them for trying. The world has gotten smaller and I just hope that the accepted attitude is not one of intolerance and rudeness.

Phew, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I do hope you guys have a fantastic, kind filled weekend ;)

~ Marcia

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Yay for rain!

I especially love raining, damp days when I have no where to go, no pressing things to tackle and can stay nice and comfy in my pj's all afternoon. Today just so happens to be one of those days. Cinnamon and I did our morning business before the real dampness set in, now she's nice and cozy curled up on the couch. (She is spoiled I am well aware ;) Roscoe is sitting in the window sill watching the rain drops.

So what's a girl to do all afternoon under such conditions? Well, I made myself a hot cup of French Vanilla coffee to ward off the dampness. This is one of my faaaavorite mugs. It says "Family Gatherings". Sorry the picture is a bit blurry, I really don't have a steady hand.

Then I lit some candles. I loooove the Country Apple waffer candles from Time&Again. I used to be able to find them anywhere, now not so much. I love this little diffuser, even though the rabbit seems to be acting a little inapropriate towards the squirrel ;)

I also lit this little guy. The smell is also Country Apple. I don't particularly like competing smells to much.

So, I have a yummy cup of flavored coffee, two scented candles burning and two content furbabies snoozing away. The only thing left for me to do is crack open a good book! I am currently on my second novel of the 7 trilogy from Nora Roberts. I looooooove them. The first one is called "Blood Brothers", the one I am currently reading is called "The Hollow" and the final one is called "The Pagan Stone".

You know the best part? I bought the first book with a gift card I received for Christmas. The second I received 20% off the cover price because it was on sale. The third book I got scot free because our complex has a library(ish) system. You donate any books you've already read, or no longer need and then you pick up any book off the shelves. It's a fabulous idea!!

So I am off to delve into the world of mystery and lore. I hope in your neck of the woods you're enjoying your day.

~ Marcia

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

What's in a name anyway?

As yesterday winded down and I came off the exictement of beginning my own blog and the whimisical name I created I suddenly sat dumbfounded and stared at the computer screen.

Could it be? Noooo. Wait....Noooo...Damn! I did indeed misspell the name of my blog!!! ARRRGH. I frantically tried to edit my blog title, and almost went so far as to create a new one with the proposed name in mind. But alas, the truth sunk in, I have no idea how to edit a blog title. Sooooo, yah, I invented the word frugalious, it means to be frugal and uh, no it wasn't meant to be frugalicious, nooo, not here, not me. *Sigh* Well enough complaining, it is what it is. (When I get into my childish phase my hubby says if I were to be a plane, I'd be a "com-plain"). He's so funny, isn't he? ;)

Anywho, (it's funny, I don't use that word while speaking yet I like how it flows on the screen)the real purpose of this post is to talk about the past few life changing months. My beloved grandma passed away May 2008. To say I loved her would be an understatement, I adored that woman. She was the most amazing person I have ever known. She was 87 years young and wanted so much to be reunited with her hubby that it was out of sheer selfishness that I cried for her passing. I am thrilled they are back together again in Heaven. But her passing affected me as it most normally would.

We didn't have much time to mourn though. The following September my dad received the news that he had lung cancer. He had quit smoking for 22 years and was active and young! He fought valigantly and really only succumbed two days prior to his passing. He passed away in February, six days before his 60th birthday. He was a strong willed man, one who would talk you in a corner just to see what you were made of. He was a closet sentimentalist and held onto things from our childhood we had no idea he'd kept. He was the only man in a house of four women and he was fiercly protective. He was my dad. Even as I type this I truly can't believe he's gone.

Yet out of great loss comes a chance for enlightenment. I realize tomorrow is not promised, we are here for today, for the moment. My dream job has always been to write freelance work for magazines such as Country living. Yet I found myself applying for jobs that I wasn't truly happy with. So in honor of their passing I am trying to live a life of "now". A life where what I am passionate about trickles into what I do for a living. I want to live in the moment, participate in it and be present.

With that said, my photos today are from my past, lol. They are a few of my most prized possesions, physical reminders of great love.

This is my baby Roscoe. I am not sure exactly who rescued whom. He has never taken to change well and shows his displeasure by peeing outside of his box. It drives me mad!! He's at it again and I can't seem to make him stop. Arrrgh. But he is a cutie.

This is Cinnamon, our two year old husky/shepherd mix. Although we've been told she may have some greyhound in her because of her lankly legs and long snout. Whatever she is she's a beautiful soul.

This hat emodies who my dad was to me. He wore this hat with a white towel around his neck to do yard work. I love this hat especially with the paint stains.

This was my grandma's book called, "Lives of the Saints". I love holding it, knowing she held it and read it each day.

And finally, this rocking chair was put out to pasture before I got my hands on it. I repainted it, mom and I selected the fabric, she made the pillow and dad upholstered the seat cushion. It team effort and I love my parents for helping me bring it to life.

I hope you have things around you that remind you of love.

~ Marcia

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

First timer...

Hi All!

Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Marcia. I have enjoyed reading everyone's blogs for awhile now so I finally decided to dip my toe into the blogging pool.

I have no real idea of what I am doing so please excuse me as I make myself acquainted. ;)

I welcome any hints or tools of the trade and would love to hear any comments you may have. (Please be gentle as I am still a newbie ;) I shamelessly admit I have an affinity towards smiley faces. ;)

Anywho, here are some pictures that I've taken around the area of our first spring in our new home.

Daffodils springing up in March is a first for me!

The ducks were also enjoying the mild temps!

Here's my handsome hubby with one of our furry babies, Cinnamon.

A hiking trail through the woods.

I love this picture, its so serene and a bit spooky all in one!

That's it for now. I hope it wasn't to painful. ;)

~ Marcia