Wednesday, April 8, 2009

It's a hard day

I wanted to write about something witty, something that would make you want to keep reading. I thought about it all morning, trying to decide what I could write about. But my mind just wouldn't give. I know my blog is based on crafts, dumpster diving and anything frugal yet what is on my mind has nothing to do with crafting or decor. Tomorrow will be the 2 month anniversary of my dad's passing. I can't believe it's only been 2 months. It seems like a lifetime and yet at the same time, it hardly seems real at all.

I have been missing him so much these past few nights. I cry myself to sleep thinking of him and wake up with him on my mind. I miss his voice, the sheer size of his hands (he wore a size 13 pinky ring), his eye rolling when he would think we weren't paying attention. I miss his nicknames for us, I miss his arguements. I miss him so much that I can actually feel the pain in my heart.

I replay visits to his hospital room, conversations we shared, laughing through the tears.

I am sorry. I didn't mean to be so depressing. I was debating whether to blog at all. But decided the blog is about my little world and right now it isn't so happy. I know there will be good days and bad days and maybe tomorrow it'll get easier but today he is on my mind. I miss you dad and love you so much.

2 comments:

  1. You are not depressing, you are real. I cannot imagine your pain. But I know that your dad is still there with you and watching over you. I send you lots of love and hugs.

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  2. Express what ever you feel as I believe it is still part of the grieving process. Does one ever stop grieving? I don't think so. I am so sorry for your loss.

    Take care
    Mervat
    xo

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sweet comments